Doubt

Homily for Tuesday of the Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time

Whether we like it or not, doubt is a fact of life. Both of the readings for today’s liturgy reveal some interesting characters from the Bible who experience doubt. In the Book of Numbers, we read of Miriam and Aaron who clearly have doubts and opinions about how things are developing as the children of Israel wander through the desert. They had doubts about his authority and decided not to listen to him.

In the Gospel this morning, we hear the familiar story of Jesus walking on water. The disciples don’t seem to recognize him so he calls out to them and identifies himself. “It is I, do not be afraid.” Peter, not sure that this is really Jesus, says, “If it is you, Lord, command me to come to you on the water.” Notice that he begins by saying “if it is you,” despite the fact that he has just witnessed the multiplication of the loaves and fishes, he is still in doubt about whether Jesus would really be able to walk on water. Of course, Jesus takes him at his word and bids him to come to him. Peter stepped out of the boat and starts moving toward Jesus. However, his doubts return, and he begins to slip under the waves. Jesus saves him.

I’m not sure that my doubts have ever been as pronounced as those of Miriam, Aaron, and Peter. However, I think there is room for doubt in our lives simply because if we were certain, there would be no mystery left. Certainty is knowledge. Doubt can produce faith. Doubt allows us to express wonder at all that God has done for us. Perhaps I doubt that I can ever do what Jesus asks of me. However, when I avail myself of the strength that God offers me through grace, my doubts become faith.

I am sure that you all have heard that quite a large percentage of Catholics have doubts about the Eucharist. They don’t believe that it is really the body and blood of Jesus. Yet, I am always struck with awe and wonder when I say those important words, “This is my body,” and, “This is the chalice of my blood.” As I gaze upon the consecrated bread and wine, I am filled with faith that I am in the presence of Jesus.