Prayer: A Relationship

Homily for the Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Many of us have likely struggled with understanding the way that God answers prayer. We have asked for something – healing for a loved one, freedom from a particular vice, or maybe clarity and discernment. However, despite the fact that we are assured by Jesus in the Gospel for today that God not only hears our prayers but also responds to them, we sometimes come away from prayer disappointed that we didn’t get that for which we asked. One of the prevalent ways to explain this conundrum is to state that God did hear the prayer, but God’s answer was “no.” I have to admit that I find that explanation frustrating and, in my opinion, absolutely false. Jesus himself questions this when he poses two rhetorical questions. “What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg?"

It is in this response that we come to understand that asking God for a particular favor is more complicated than simply depositing a coin in a vending machine and getting your choice of drink or snack. Prayer requires a relationship. Intercessory prayer without first establishing a relationship with God is, to use a time worn adage, putting the cart before the horse. This is made clear when Jesus says, “If you, then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?” When we pray, Jesus teaches us, we begin with stating the relationship – Father. Even the parable that Jesus tells to illustrate his teaching about prayer begins with the statement of a relationship. “Suppose one has a friend…”

This is followed with, “Hallowed be thy name,” which is usually called the first petition, but it is probably a glorifying of the name of God, which in Jewish prayer always precedes petition. The next petition is “Thy kingdom come.” While it is a petition, it also reminds us that it is God’s kingdom, not ours. The “bread” of the third petition (literally, “tomorrow’s bread”) quite likely means the messianic banquet. These two petitions pray for a foretaste already here and now of the blessings of the end. “Forgive us our sins” in the fourth petition refers to the last judgment but is likewise anticipated in our justification. Our forgiveness of others does not earn God’s forgiveness for us, but it is the condition of our continuance in forgiveness. In the next and final petition, “temptation” is a technical term for the messianic woes. Greek philosophy maintains that the return of Jesus will be preceded by a time of tribulation. Consequently, we pray to be strong enough to prevail the tribulation. It is not a prayer that God would stop tempting us to sin (for God does not do this, as St. James correctly observes in his letter), but rather for our preservation during the messianic woes, the final great tribulation, anticipated in the trials of faith during the Christian’s life. Our relationship with God figures prominently in all these petitions.

Scholars refer to the Book of Psalms as the Bible’s prayer book. Careful reading of the psalms reveals that the psalmist’s prayers are always answered. One of the most famous examples of this in Psalm 22. It begins with a famous question, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why so far from my call for help, from my cries of anguish? My God, I call by day, but you do not answer; by night, but I have no relief.” However, as he is praying and asking God why he has not received any relief, the answer to his question is revealed to him a few verses later. “In you our ancestors trusted; they trusted and you rescued them. To you they cried out and they escaped; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.” This pattern is repeated over and over again in so many of the Psalms. A petition is offered at the beginning of the prayer, and the answer is revealed to the one who prays by the end of it. God is faithful. God expects faithfulness on our part as well.

It becomes rather clear as we plumb the depths of what it means to pray; we begin to understand that prayer is first and foremost an expression of our relationship to God. This means that we have to ask ourselves some hard questions. When do we pray? Do we only pray when we are in trouble or when we need something? Do we forget to pray when things are going smoothly, when we have everything that we need? If this is the case, it becomes obvious that our prayers are nothing more than a way for us to escape our troubled lives. When things get hard and too much for us to handle, we go running back to the Father and expect God to relieve us of our troubles. There is no relationship in this kind of situation. Consequently, our petitions are not really prayers. Instead, like so many characters in the Bible, we forget our relationship with God and simply approach God looking for a handout. We may not understand the answer that God gives us when we pray if the relationship has not preceded out request. As Jesus reminds us in today’s Gospel parable, God will always answer with the gift of the Holy Spirit who will undoubtedly reveal God’s will for us. There is no greater gift than the gift of the Holy Spirit who is the personification of the love that exists between God and his only begotten Son. What more could we ask for than this kind of love, a love that is expressed in our relationship with God?

Remember the first great commandment: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind! Fall in love with God first, then turn to God with your requests.